Many of us are unable to sit still and are overwhelmed with anxiety without distraction from inner turmoil and drama. We often create drama externally so we don’t have to sit with the feelings that try to engulf us when quietness descends. Creating drama in our lives allows us to channel feelings of chaos out as defenses protect from feeling the internal turmoil which is unbearable. This chaos can manifest in interpersonal relationships, strain and conflict related to social roles, financial disorganization or strain, or via the addiction/eating problem we attempt to manage ineffectively. I will often ask my clients, if you weren’t thinking about that, what would you be thinking about?
Generally, the repression of emotion will generate anxiety, nervous energy or depression and these byproducts must be discharged to maintain equilibrium. The emotion diffuses and triggers shame throughout the cycle, as it is a vehicle that enables us to imagine some control over our environment.
This dynamic later engulfs us, as it reinforces the deception in which we reject the notion that we’ve merely behaved in a self-destructive manner, but instills or reinforces the belief that we are intrinsically tainted. It is primarily the belief that there is something very wrong with us that prevents us from ever getting it (life) right.
This thought becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy which is why we must get rid of the shame and practice self-forgiveness in order to move to a higher place where our greater good is the objective. This is where the concept of adding something rather than taking something away comes into play as we learn to accept ourselves and our behavior with an attitude shift that withholds judgment and is more objective or detached.
Try not to stir the pot today. Sit back and be still so you can allow yourself to use that energy to create a structure of order. Do something small – clean a closet, organize a cabinet, file papers…do something tangible which lends stability rather than flux. This will get you started in clearing a space for groundedness in body, mind and spirit.
