Journey Into Hunger

The Jumping off place.

Valerie — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 11:23:47 +0000

We face forks in the road daily, forks where we make a choice to go one way or another, forks where we turn toward health or move toward what feels like a dead end path. We progress on a progressive journey and move regardless of self-initiation. It is one of those conundrums where a non-decision [...}

You made me love you, I didn’t want to do it…

Valerie — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 11:27:46 +0000

Love “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” ~Rumi

Last week at a fundraiser I gave a talk on love, the theme was Valentine’s Day and the topic was romantic love – how to sustain it, nurture [...}

No you don’t know me…

Valerie — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 19:32:35 +0000

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NmrVOuMVvGM

In the depth of our addiction who really knows us? In early stage recovery I don’t think we even know ourselves – I used to think “if I could only read my mind…”. I believe one of the reasons a site like this is so helpful is it invites a common understanding of the [...}

Self-help wizard told me I’m a hypocrite and he’s right.

Valerie — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 11:01:35 +0000

Truth!

It was not a message I personalized from his book but something he said in a personal conversation we had a couple of days ago. He was right and said it’s something he calls the ‘hypocrisy principle’ – very relevant as it addresses truth, willingness to accept my humanness, and practice what I preach.

[...}

Lions and tigers and bears – Oh my!

Valerie — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 12:18:13 +0000

Right click and watch.

I think fear takes a bad rap. Often advice when we’re afraid is to turn it into faith or only thing we have to fear is fear itself. Don’t ignore your fear or tell yourself there is nothing to be afraid of. Process it, talk about it with another person, there [...}

What tint will you wear today?

Valerie — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 00:24:21 +0000

Our thoughts determine our attitude or outlook on the world. Our thoughts also determine our feelings – how we feel about ourselves, what’s happening and breadth of our options. Some wear rose tinted thoughts and some have lenses so dirty we can’t see through them at all. Others wear clear ones.

Which do you want [...}

Hitting the wall…again

Valerie — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 11:59:35 +0000

We all confront times when it feels like we hit a wall in our journey, an insurmountable obstacle that stalls us, creates despair and causes us to question our direction. At times like this things seem to fall apart and it’s easy to feel paralyzed in the situation. We wonder what we’ve done to create/deserve [...}

Free at last

Valerie — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 10:36:19 +0000

Am I really ready?

When we are ready to surrender we stop fighting.

Fighting our problem is an exercise in futility, we are reaching for something that is unattainable, we are still trying to control – we need to give up.

The idea of giving up is scary, especially considering cultural values of independence and [...}

Looking into the mirror of chaos

Valerie — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 12:09:30 +0000

Many of us are unable to sit still and are overwhelmed with anxiety without distraction from inner turmoil and drama. We often create drama externally so we don’t have to sit with the feelings that try to engulf us when quietness descends. Creating drama in our lives allows us to channel feelings of chaos out [...}

The ruby slippers

Valerie — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 11:59:39 +0000

The only way to confront our obsessions is to go into the urge of desire and examine the origination of the longing. The way to do this is to develop a nonjudgmental attitude toward ourselves and accept there is no perfect way to accomplish this feat.

Years ago I began to write a book about [...}

Eliminate the negative.

Valerie — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 11:53:52 +0000

The choice (yes a choice) of utilizing a positive outlook can change your experience as you move through recovery, and in fact as you move through life. Our attitude determines the way we receive information from the outside and is positioned to look for what is right in any given situation or for what’s wrong [...}

The building blocks

Valerie — Sat, 21 Jan 2012 10:43:28 +0000

Let’s take a look ahead to give you a glimpse of where we are headed. If we can distinguish character from instinct then we are in a better position or empowered to understand why will-power isn’t an effective tool when the drive satisfy an impulse is overwhelming. With the ongoing practice of insight comes self-forgiveness, [...}

The inspiration of the Glass Ceiling.

Valerie — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 11:16:51 +0000

I woke up today with this song in my head, for sure an inspiration to find a resurgence of commitment to a willingness to change, as we never complete the evolution of the spirit, the integration of movement in life.

I will never arrive at the ideal I’ve set for myself in regard to spiritual [...}

In other words…

Valerie — Fri, 10 Jun 2011 12:21:49 +0000

The work of reclamation requires cessation of the acting out in addiction in order to identify the underlying “me”. It is a process where healing is a byproduct of the experience of right living,or of being true to self. In the process we naturally experience an upward progression in terms of experience, as well as in the knowing achieved through shifts in behavior. This knowledge and experience serves to alter our cognitive schema, or in the architecture for our internal decision process and attitude (beliefs and expectations). This work requires a change in outlook which is initiated by knowledge of powerlessness as well as the acknowledgment of feelings of desperation. Acceptance here moves us into hope and self-acceptance which is achieved through forgiveness and release of rigidity or ideals of perfection. We need to allow others in to see us as we really are – as this will enable us to get a picture of who we are and develop that identity. However the conundrum here is that first we must be able to view ourselves in the mirror of other. [...}

Groove on the darkness

Valerie — Thu, 09 Jun 2011 10:21:15 +0000

There are many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year’s course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. Carl Jung

I have heard this concept presented in [...}

A call from anonymous

Valerie — Mon, 06 Jun 2011 14:00:00 +0000

I have been feeling a lot of frustration lately regarding situations over which I have limited control and narrow ability to influence outcomes. Yesterday I received an interesting text which turned out to be a great gift to me in regard to spiritual nourishment as it uplifted me from focusing on myself – it relieved [...}

The limited nature of will-power

Valerie — Fri, 03 Jun 2011 10:29:48 +0000

Many of us who are victims of compulsive behaviors experience frustration at what seems to be a lack of will-power and self-control – these two are related. Willpower is the inner strength needed to overcome limits, while self-control is ability to self-regulate actions. Of course impulsivity plays in here too especially when it concerns compulsive [...}

Waiting for the inspiration to change (for Jackie)

Valerie — Sat, 28 May 2011 10:23:34 +0000

When we wait for the inspiration to change it’s like being at that jumping off place they talk about in the AA big book – it’s not being able to live with drinking or without it – not necessarily in motivation, but in reality. The impetus to recover may not be there, but the consequences [...}

Acknowledge the power in Decision

Valerie — Mon, 23 May 2011 11:37:33 +0000

There are times in recovery where we feel we need to force change – sometimes this is possible and other times not. Our attitude is powered by the decision but is not necessarily a reflection of the degree of our commitment. There is no varying degree of commitment, it is absolute. The decision is also [...}

You see your baby loves to dance ;)

Valerie — Wed, 11 May 2011 11:18:39 +0000

The work of recovery is hard and can be grueling at times, however the payoff is tremendous. Just yesterday I was talking with someone about the pendulum swing from pain to joy and that the degree to which we can experience pain is the same degree to which we will experience joy. Regardless sometime we just need a break from the hard work of recovery, a constructive break where we make a decision to just have fun! [...}

“So darkness shall be the light” – just an idea…

Valerie — Tue, 10 May 2011 10:27:59 +0000

Recently a sober friend shared with me that he doesn’t ask his higher power to keep him sober nor to help with situations, feelings or people. His prayers consist of ‘thank you’. This interests me because it speaks, or rather doesn’t speak , of the issue of expectancy or setting up expectations, rather allows for [...}

Getting into the groove.

Valerie — Mon, 09 May 2011 11:52:15 +0000

Recovery takes vigilance, even a hyper-vigilance in attending to the actions that keep us focused and still. When we allow impulse to sway the decision process we are led off track and the longer we engage in impulsive behavior (action without thought/a sudden urge) the more challenging it is to get back to a disciplined course of action which leads us home. [...}

Chasing the carrot

Valerie — Fri, 04 Mar 2011 11:42:06 +0000

Establishing a connection with your-self will create a landscape for fulfillment which will never be satiated in the lure of external elements but only by the synchronization of your body, mind and spirit. [...}

Resisting the urge

Valerie — Tue, 01 Mar 2011 18:48:39 +0000

As we examine the nature of desire there may be a pull from the past which can suck us up for a moment. As long as we remember we have made a decision, as long as we maintain the readiness we know so well, as long as we remain tethered to hope we will pull [...}

Going the distance

Valerie — Thu, 24 Feb 2011 12:01:36 +0000

Many times in our addictive behavior we are willing to go the distance, to make sacrifices, to construct a life which revolves around behaviors that are self-destructive. We may lack hope, willingness and readiness to change it – we are lost, hopeless and helpless in our surrender to the substance.

Recovery means going the distance [...}

If you’re new here

Valerie — Mon, 21 Feb 2011 13:24:27 +0000

About six years ago I started to write a book called "Journey into Hunger" – it's a book constantly in revision as I progress in my own personal recovery and while initially it focused on food addiction it was recommended to me by a publisher that I broaden the view to the concept of desire and its impact upon social culture. Creating a blog was the number one suggestion by the publisher so I started this, and more recently another blog called myeatingproblem.com (obviously dedicated to eating disorders). So, I put the book down for a while to focus on blog(s) and have recently begun sending out book proposals – (I'll let you know how it goes J). [...}

Coming to life

Valerie — Sat, 19 Feb 2011 11:31:05 +0000

So how do I know if I am motivated by want rather than need? What do I do about that drive or impulse to embark on a quest for self-gratification rather than support the evolution of the spirit? We practice humility, understanding that we don't have all of the answers. We practice insight where we develop an ability to be honest with ourselves about our motives. We are gentle and never make it about good and bad but about self-destruction or self-care. We continue to hope, continue to observe and continue to practice utilizing tools that validate self and change and positive action. We never never never give up…we forge on knowing that a reconciliation of self is at the end of our journey. We will never achieve perfection but through mindfulness will find peace in self-acceptance. [...}

Hope for the hopeless

Valerie — Fri, 18 Feb 2011 10:41:22 +0000

I don’t control what happens in the universe, although sometimes I like to put blinders on and shift my perspective so it’s all about me. There are people all over the world who don’t know I exist…there is something out there and in my soul which is an instilled instinct for life, for survival and for hope. The refusal to accept the fact that there may be 101 options of which I may not be aware is the beginning of understanding that I don’t control or have access to control over events, circumstances or others. [...}

Learning to speak your truth

Valerie — Wed, 16 Feb 2011 10:00:01 +0000

Identifying feelings requires listening to others who can teach us how to label and thus how to feel – in a fairly recent earlier post we discussed the concept of changing the way we think in order to change how we feel – we need words to think, an open mind and the willingness to confide in or trust another. For example, I was talking with a client recently, she is just getting sober and we discussed the process of emotions awakening and identifying feelings as ‘complicated’ rather than possessing a working vocabulary which allows us to identify, process and reconcile. [...}

Beyond the tyranny of self-recrimination and on the road to forgiveness

Valerie — Mon, 14 Feb 2011 11:20:03 +0000

Imagine a day without self-doubt, without fear, without obsessive thoughts taunting you – they are challenge to wellness of body mind and spirit. Develop a mind free which lives in the moment – seem like magical thinking? It’s not a fantasy it’s a reasonable goal. [...}