http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NmrVOuMVvGM
In the depth of our addiction who really knows us? In early stage recovery I don’t think we even know ourselves – I used to think “if I could only read my mind…”. I believe one of the reasons a site like this is so helpful is it invites a common understanding of the shameful dark side we hide so carefully. We can reveal it here, an anonymous place where we are able to identify and share common ground which has been concealed for so long. As we begin to identify the stuff that covers us up and detracts from our ‘self’ we will be enabled to find and build upon the foundation of who we want to be and were supposed to become.
The willingness to glance at or open this door together helps to minimize the shame and diminish the fear because we are not doing it alone. We can begin to look at what’s taken us over, what went wrong and how do I get back? It is a beginning, but the challenge here lies in knowing yourself as in my food addiction so much of who I had become was tainted and broken down by compulsive engagement in self-destructive behaviors that increasingly took on a life of their own and then took mine with it. Did that happen to you too?
Many people, including ourselves, feel emotional eating/alcoholism/drug addiction are a weakness of character, laziness, or my personal favorite – a lack of self-love. I don’t know about you, but I never woke up one day and said ‘I know what I want to do when I grow up! I’m going to destroy my life and hurt everyone who loves me, lose my ability to feel and spend every minute hating myself’. You?
The behavior – and I’d like to reiterate BEHAVIOR we engage in is self-destructive, yes but it is NOT a character flaw or an issue of laziness or motivated by self-hate – self-hate quickly follows, but I do not believe it is the cause.
This is getting long and there is so much more to say – the point is we get to start over as we peel away layers we’ve built after years of self-destructive behaviors. As we begin to limit these behaviors and build our repertoire of coping skills we will uncover a foundation for a life we’ve only dreamed of –Today I invite you to find out who you are and while you probably won’t be the US President, you can certainly become your-self in body, mind and spirit. Yes, I’m Valerie – do I know you?
